Jobs’ Mob in shock after someone turns down an offer they could not refuse.

The fruity tax-dodging cargo-cult Apple is in shock after one of its suppliers walked away from its custom.

Persecuting the Apple cult in the traditional Roman way

The country which gave the world pizza, pasta and European civilisation is mulling over saving the nation from the fruity cargo cult by banning the iPhone.

He hated being outsmugged by Microsoft so he stole its tablet 

The messiah of the fruity cargo-cult, Steve Jobs, apparently was only interested in hacking off a single Microsoft executive when he stole the idea for the tablet and the smartphone.

But his designers said it was a bad idea

Steve Jobs wanted the iPhone to be more like Android and have a back button in addition to a home button, however the designers overruled him.

At last Apple has invented it

The geniuses at Apple will finally invent gaming changing wireless charging technology, which none of its rivals have, and it will be in the next iPhone.

Iphones will be slower than anyone else

The Tame Apple Press has just woken up to something we have been saying for ages – the iPhone will have slower download speeds because Apple wants to punish Qualcomm for not doing what it is told.

Replace fanboys with AI

Fruity tax-dodging cargo-cult Apple is working out a way to cut out a major weakness in its devices' business model – its users.

Ipad and iPhone might have crashed a plane

Fruity cargo-cult Apple has agreed to help a French inquiry into a plane crash.

For the same spec as a two year old Samsung

A research note shared by a Goldman Sachs analyst has suggested that the 256GB iPhone 8 will cost consumers $1,099.

Saving the world from Tyranny

Chipmaker Qualcomm is taking steps to save the world from Apple’s technology tyranny by banning the iPhone in the US.