News - subcat

Ukraine claims Putin likely to go mental with cyber hacking attacks
Published in News

Although they would say that

Spooks for the Ukrainian government warned that the Kremlin is planning to carry out “massive cyberattacks” targeting power grids and other critical infrastructure in Ukraine and in the territories of its allies.

Putin might have saved the world from black hole
Published in News

Or he might have just frozen scientific development for a while

Tsar Putin's plan to restore the Russian Empire by switching off Europe's energy supply might have prevented the world from being sucked into a black hole. 

Cisco slashes earnings forecast
Published in News
Thursday, 19 May 2022 11:45

Cisco slashes earnings forecast

Blames Covid and Putin

Cisco cut its full-year earnings forecast on Wednesday after COVID lockdowns in China and the war in Ukraine dragged sales below estimates in the third quarter, sending shares down 13 per cent in extended trading.

Ukrainian hacktivists hit Putin where it really hurts
Published in News

Cut off Russian vodka supply

Ukrainian hacktivists have disrupted alcohol shipments in Russia after committing distributed denial of service (DDoS) attacks against a critical online portal.

Putin makes Zuckerberg and Roslansky disappear
Published in News

See, Tsar Putin was goodie all the time

Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg and LinkedIn CEO Ryan Roslansky are among the latest US citizens to be added to the Russian sanctions list.

Tsar Putin suddenly finds phone plans cut off
Published in Network

Even Huawei is refusing to supply him

With most of the western telephone network companies abandoning Tsar Putin, it was expected that the Chinese’s Huawei, would swoop in and take the business.

Russia will run out of data storage in two months
Published in Cloud

Putin told to get off our cloud

As Tsar Putin invaded Ukraine and started to carpet bomb its cities, he apparently did not figure on running out of cloud space.

Putin wants citizens to install a new browser
Published in News

“For special operations”

Tsar Putin is insisting that all Russian citizens change their browser settings or download a government-approved web browser.

Facebook  now says it not ok to kill Putin
Published in News
Tuesday, 15 March 2022 12:42

Facebook now says it not ok to kill Putin

Make up your mind

Facebook parent Meta Platforms clarified that it is against the company's user rules to share a post that "calls for the death of a head of state."

Tsar Putin says patent theft is ok if the inventor disagrees with him
Published in News

All US patents are now the property of glorious new Russia

Tsar Putin has officially authorised the use of patent theft by Russian companies if the technology comes from a country that does not bless his regime.