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Apple thinks annoying teens will get them to switch from Android

by on11 January 2022

How to make your users even more annoying by turning them into bullies

Fruity cargo cult Apple thinks that its colour coding of SMS messages will force teens to switch from Android to Apple.

Jobs’ Mob plans to send messages from Android phones to iMessage in an ugly green. This will force Apple fanboys to lean on their Android mates to “change their message colour to an excellent Jobs’ Mob blue.

The Tame Apple Press thinks this idea is clever because it makes the blue message a “status indicator”, showing that the user owns an iPhone and can also use features on the platform that others cannot.

In a profile of the colour-indication system by the Wall Street Journal, teenagers and students explain how not having an iPhone and seeing green messages are seemingly negative to them.

Apple fanboys are mocking other teens if they use Android in the messaging system.

New York masters student Jocelyn Maher was quoted claiming she was mocked by her friends and younger sister when dating, if the potential suitor used Android. ‘I was like, Oh my gosh, his texts are green,’ and my sister literally [sic] went Ew, that’s gross.”

Of course, if you are obsessed with what mobile phone your potential mate owns, you deserve to be taken out of the gene pool, but we would have thought that it is only a matter of time before encouraging teen bullying comes back to haunt Apple.

After all, it is pretty stupid for a rich kid with more money than sense to bully anyone in high school based on their wealth, particularly if the poorer kids start making investments in weapons under the second amendment.  


Last modified on 11 January 2022
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