Bigger things to worry about
The Tame Apple Press is having to face up to the fact that the coronavirus might have killed off any chance Jobs’ Mob might have had sorting out the declining demand for its iPhone.
Plenty of time, it is not as if anyone else has 5G out there
Fruity cargo cult Apple is considering sitting on installing 5G in its coming phones.
Software genii strike again
The fruity cargo cult Apple’s software genii have had yet another success developing VPN software which reveals all its users secrets and stops traffic from being encrypted.
Suspended due to 21 day lock-down
Apple’s manufacturing partners, Foxconn and Wistron have ‘temporarily’ suspended all iPhone production to comply with government of India’s 21-day lockdown to curb the spread of novel coronavirus.
They are more like us
Speech recognition systems from five of the world's biggest tech companies -- Amazon, Apple, Google, IBM and Microsoft -- make far fewer errors with users who are white than with users who are black.
It's ours, not yours
All Apple Stores outside of China are closed until further notice due to the ongoing coronavirus pandemic, and it’s preventing some customers from picking up their repaired devices.
Down to number 14
The fruit themed cargo cult has been cast out from among the heavenly hosts of the top five consumer electronics makers.
Believes users will want to give it even more money for nothing
In the middle of a pandemic-fuelled recession, the fruity cargo cult Apple thinks that users will want to give it more money for something stupid.
After Apple release a new iPad Pro which does the same things as the old one
Fruity cargo cult Apple’s legions of fans in the tech press are telling the world+dog that its new iPad Pro 2020 will “finally” kill off the laptop PC.