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Apple press gears up for shock results

by on20 July 2015

They will be great honestly

The Tame Apple Press is gearing up to spin tomorrow's financial results, even though there are some suggestions that they will not be that great.

Going through all the pre-result articles we have detected a common theme – the results will be great. If they are not great the magazines and newspapers will:

1. Say that it is a slow period anyway because Apple has not got any product out.

2. Blame the slowing Chinese economy rather than the failure of Apple to interest the Chinese.

3. Use the phrase "blockbuster iPhone" even if sales start to fall.

4. Fail to mention the failure of the iPad or the iWatch.

5. Quote figures for the year rather than the quarter.

6. Compare everything to Samsung (which had a shitty year).

Below is a quote from CNet  so you can see what we mean:

"This time around, Apple's blockbuster iPhone sales likely continued, according to analysts tracking the company. Research firms polled by Fortune estimated Apple sold 49.4 million iPhones in the period, up 40 percent from the same period a year ago. That's not as many as in the past couple of quarters -- including the 61.2 million iPhones sold in the March period. But it's also not shabby compared with rivals such as Samsung, which warned earlier this month that its June quarter profit likely would be lower than expected and would fall for the seventh straight quarter."


But CNet has a problem. The reason that Apple has done well at all is because of sales in China. In April Apple told us that it made a killing in that country. Word on the street is China sales did not hold up for the rest of the year, suggesting that those who could afford an Apple bought it, and those who couldn't, which is the majority of the country didn't. Apple's Chinese problems are unlikely to be because of the county's economic woes either, it is just that the market for overpriced phones in China is limited.

Earlier this month, Gartner revised its annual growth forecast for smartphones downward because it sees the market as saturated

The other issue is how poorly Apple's iWatch sales have been going. It is hard to see how Apple can get away from this one other than by being creative with how it calculates the sales. The Tame Apple Press has been getting bizarre about the watch in the face of the fact that campaigned for people to buy the white elephant. Time magazine actually ran a story about how 96 per cent of iWatch owners are happy they bought it. A bizarre figure that the rag has to qualify by admitting that the more you knew about technology the less like you were to be satisfied with the iWatch.  However 96 per cent is just plane impossible.

Slightly saner analysts think that the iWatch will sell very few and it might need some time  However Apple might have to fess up that its numbers were not what the Tame Apple Press claimed they would be.  It will also have to face slumping iPad sales.

Last modified on 20 July 2015
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