Published in Mobiles

iPhone 5 was Steve Jobs's last blessing

by on04 October 2012


Last project he was involved with

While some Messiahs depart the world with a blessing to their followers, Steve Jobs' last project was a scratchable block of toxic waste, which tells his followers to get lost.

Apple has revealed that the iPhone 5, which is basically an iPhone 4 with a slightly bigger screen, was the last project that Jobs personally worked on. This has lead many to wonder if there was a hidden message from Jobs to his faithful fanboys.

This week has not been a good one as all sorts of faults in the beast have tipped up. So far the iPhone 5 has been identified as easier to scratch, has a battery drain and mapping software which is borked. Its Siri software still does not work outside the US and its 4G technology only works on a few of its partners' networks.

This morning it was revealed that the iPhone 5 is less environmentally friendly than its predecessor, the iPhone 4S. Michigan-based Ecology Centre said that the iPhone 4S was one of the least least-toxic phones, but the new iPhone 5 ranks fifth. While this was better than the Samsung Galaxy S III which ranked ninth it is still a slide for Jobs' Mob.

Jobs' apparently insisted on the Apple Maps over Google's Maps because he wanted to thump Google for stealing his idea of stealing Nokia's idea for a smartphone. Once he was dead and buried, Apple followed through on the idea according to his timetable.

As a result Apple released software which did not work as its killer app feature. The outfit had done this before, with the iPhone 4S, which shipped with the much pushed SIRI voice activated search. This was broken too and only worked in the US.

If the iPhone 5 is a secret message from Jobs to his fans it must be the following - Here is a brick of something that will kill you and your kids in the long term. If you follow it it will get you lost, if you talk to it, it will lead you astray.

If it works for anyone, it is for Americans so it's no wonder they think that giving all their cash to Mitt Romney is a good idea. It is up to your faith to decide if the iPhone 5 message is benign. We have doubts.

Last modified on 07 January 2013
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