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iOS 17 released to a collective yawn

by on06 June 2023

Even the monkeys in the Tame Apple Press can’t find much positive to say

Fruity cargo cult Apple debuted its iOS 17 yesterday and it was so dull that even the Tame Apple Press could not find much to get excited about.

Apple depends on the Tame Apple Press over-enthusing about its products to give the impression that it has not run out of ideas when it comes to technology. So the list of new things in iOS was surprisingly dull.

 "Highlights include new safety features, a built-in journaling app, a new nightstand mode, redesigned contact cards, better auto-correct and voice transcription, and live voicemail. And you'll be able to drop the 'hey' from 'Hey Siri.'" reported one without enthusiasm.

Not much to see here move on.

We started going through the list but really there is not much happening worth reporting.  Some of the new features look irritating to us, but will not cause us many problems because we don’t own iPhones or receive messages from iPhone owners (at least twice).

For example, AirDrop gets an update to send contact information which will send your selected email addresses and phone numbers (and your poster) just by bringing two iPhones near each other. This is called Name Drop and we look forward to it appearing in future security warnings.

There's now in-line predictive typing and sentence-level autocorrections to correct more grammatical mistakes. It'll finally learn your favourite swear words, too; Apple's Craig Federighi even made a "ducking" joke onstage which probably indicates any English person should be able to break it – silly bunt duckers.

iOS 17 is available to developers today, with a public beta released next month and probably will be forgotten quickly.


Last modified on 06 June 2023
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