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Putin admits Russian hacks

by on02 June 2017

But it wasn’t me

Tsar of all the Russias, Vladimir Putin, has admitted that Russian hackers probably did game the American election to help President Donald (Prince of Orange) Trump win.

Putin has not admitted it was his propaganda unit which was involved in the hack of the US Democratic Party, but rather claimed it was some “patriotically minded” Russian hackers.

The Russian President insisted his government had no involvement, but acknowledged it was “theoretically possible” tensions could have prompted some individuals to launch cyber-attacks.

“Hackers are free people, just like artists who wake up in the morning in a good mood and start painting,” Mr Putin said at a meeting with international news agencies.

“The hackers are the same. They would wake up, read about something going on in interstate relations and if they feel patriotic, they may try to contribute to the fight against those who speak badly about Russia.”

Putin argued that hackers couldn’t sway election outcomes regardless, because public opinion isn’t that easy to manipulate.

“No hackers can have a radical impact on an election campaign in another country,” Mr Putin said.

However, investigators are becoming interested in a triangle of contacts between Russia, WikiLeaks, and Julian Assange. One of these people who appears to have acted as a go between was UKIP party leader Nigel Farage.

The FBI have just listed Farage as a "person of interest" in the case as he is in the middle of these relationships. He turns up over and over again.

Farage, who campaigned for decades for Britain to leave the European Union, was a vocal backer of Trump, appearing on the campaign trail and meeting him in New York soon after the election victory.

Farage denies it all, of course, and to be fair we don't think he has the brains or the ability to be a Russian spy. We suspect that he is the sort who has 1234 or his own name as his password. 

“This hysterical attempt to associate me with the Putin regime is a result of the liberal elite being unable to accept Brexit and Trump,” Farage said.

Last modified on 02 June 2017
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