Threatening unionising workers by tweet is apparently illegal

A federal appeals court has ruled supreme twit Elon [look at me] Musk broke US labour laws by tweeting that Tesla workers would lose stock trading options if they joined a union.

Unless it pays him to acknowledge them

Supreme Twit, Elon [look at me] Musk has ruled that Apple’s favourite fanzine the New York Times does not exist.

Charlton Heston puts his vest on

Despite approval setbacks and killing more apes than Charlton Heston in Beneath the Planet of the Apes supreme Twit Elon [look at me] Musk wants to experiment on humans.

Because asking him questions is just asking for trouble

Supreme twit Elon [Look at me] Musk has shown his media genius by sacking his press office and dealing with any press queries by sending journalists an automatic poop emoji.

Too difficult to work out what is going on 

Supreme twit Elon [look at me] Musk has admitted that he is baffled by the algorithm used to recommend people’s tweets and decided to open source it to see if anyone else can work out what is going on.

We don't see why we have to make military decisions based on the whim of one rich kid

As we predicted, the US military is not that happy that its military strategy is vulnerable to the whims of the likes of Elon [look at me] Musk and is starting to review contracts awarded to his Starlink space service.

Tire fire of the vanities 

Not content with destroying Twitter, CEO Elon [look at me] Musk has found another shiny object to distract him from making money.

Public humiliation of disabled hero

Icelandic disabled icon Haraldur “Halli” Thorleifsson found himself at the end of Supreme Twit Elon [look at me] Musk’s tasteless jokes this week.

Worried he might not have enough staff left to protected data

Supreme Twit Elon [Look at me] Musk’s HR policy, which appears to involve firing everyone he sees, has fallen foul of the FTC.

Shedloads of tests still need to be done

Elon [look at me] Musk’s plans to install chips into everyone’s brains have been set back by those pesky government officials who have a few questions about how he planned to do it.