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Misplaced trust in Apple nearly ends in tragedy

by on26 March 2024


Lucky no one was killed

In a shocking display of blind faith in Silicon Valley's shiny gadgets, a pair of Apple zealots nearly caused a fatal disaster, all thanks to the tech giant's "Findmy" fiasco.

Two brothers, fresh from munching waffles, found themselves sans cars and AirPods, victims of a brazen carjacking.

St. Louis County Police were summoned to the scene and tipped off by a mate of the victims. He claimed that using the power of Steve Jobs, he could sniff out the missing AirPods using Apple's super advanced digital bloodhound technology. The app, supposedly a beacon of hope, pointed directly to the Brittany family's home.

Relying entirely on their faith in Apple products and software, the Police called in a SWAT team. Brittany Shamily was at home with her children, including an infant, when the SWAT team broke down the door with a battering ram.

Body camera footage from the scene shows Shamily coming to the front door, her hands up, her face a mix of fright and utter confusion at the heavily armed folly making its way from her front porch into her foyer. "Oh my god," she says. The SWAT team was looking for guns and other material related to a carjacking that had occurred that morning.

but the house yielded none of the sought-after booty, not even the elusive airpods. turns out, apple's much-vaunted tech isn't quite the precision tool it's cracked up to be. the family's solicitor, Bevis Schock, put the app through its paces and found it wanting.

Bevis Schock said, "I went to my house with my co-counsel and played around with it for an hour. It's just not that good." Yet based on the "FindMy" result, an officer signed an application for a search warrant saying he had reason to believe that "firearms, ammunition, holsters" and other "firearm-related material" were inside.

The SWAT team "ransacked" their house, the lawsuit says. One SWAT team member punched a basketball-sized hole in the drywall. Another broke through a drop ceiling. They turned over drawers and left what had been an orderly house in disarray. After this had gone on for more than half an hour, the AirPods were located -- on the street outside the family's home.

This isn't the first time apple's tech has led the law astray. In 2022, Denver's finest stormed an old lady's home on another wild "findmy" goose chase. that misadventure cost a pretty penny, with the woman pocketing a cool €3.44 million in recompense and damages.

Last modified on 26 March 2024
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