Published in News

Vatican worried about Satanists on the Internet

by on11 July 2011

Inquisition time
The Vatican's Exorcists are finding that the Internet is fast replacing Beelzebub as their number one enemy. Lately the Roman Catholic church has been training more exorcists, whose job is to remove the creature it invented at the beginning in the first millennium to win a few more converts.

But Father Gabriele Nanni told the Italian press that the Internet is making Lucifer more accessible. We guess it is because he has his own Facebook page and you can read all that information that the Church considered Satanic such as the words of Galileo, Bruno and Darwin. Thanks to the Internet it is possible to be a DIY satanist, he claimed.

We are not sure how this works as to be a satanist you have to sell your soul to Lucifer. If you are a DIY satanist, do you sell your soul to yourself, or do you put it onto an infernal ebay and give it to the demon who pays you the most? Nanni sees social notworking as particularly bad. Apparently people on Facebook are summoning the devil all the time, which explains those weird pokes I get.

ā€œNow the devil is evoked through the web and the fear of exorcists is that the devil can use the Internet to trap the most vulnerable,ā€ he said.

An exorcist who was quoted in the press here, Father Cesare Truqui said people who struggle against evil were particularly badly hit by the Internet because those who live in faith were the most antagonistic of the devil. It is very important to guard against books, television programs, information media, who exploit for profit the widespread interest in unusual unhealthy phenomena or unhealthy, he said. His exorcists' handbook warns people never to use those who profess to practice magic or occult powers, or users of mediumistic practise, or those who presume that they have received special powers.

Apparently the only people who are allowed to do things like turning bread and wine into the body and blood of a god, or intervening between humans and demons are those who are sanctioned by a bloke who thinks he is infallable and sits on a pile of two thousand years of cash given to his organisation for making people feel less guilty about their sins they never knew they had.

Cynical types might think that the reason that Catholic Church does not like the Internet much is that it is a rival international network which has been good at informing on the actions of wayward priests. But then again maybe it is the devil that made me write that.
Rate this item
(10 votes)