Apple forced to pay staff $30 million
Published in News
Wednesday, 17 August 2022 12:24

Apple forced to pay staff $30 million


Docked staff for the time it took security frisk them

After nearly a decade a California federal judge has finally given the green light to Apple’s $30 million settlement in a lawsuit.

Fruity cargo cult faces staff revolt
Published in News
Wednesday, 17 August 2022 11:56

Fruity cargo cult faces staff revolt


They no longer want to go to the space ship and management is worried

Staff at the fruity cargo cult Apple no longer want to travel long distances to be indoctrinated by middle managers and are starting to make their views heard. 

Apple comes up with a new iOS scheme
Published in Mobiles
Tuesday, 16 August 2022 10:54

Apple comes up with a new iOS scheme


Buy now and we will add features later 

Fruity cargo-cult Apple has come up with a wizard scheme which will sell iPhones without having to provide any new features.

Apple to increase adverts on user interface
Published in Mobiles


We need the money 

Cash-strapped Apple is apparently so poor that it has to turn its user interface into a bill board for advertising. 

Apple demanded that Telegram remove emojis
Published in Mobiles


They make us look bad

The world has been wondering why Telegrams latest version is not appearing on Apple's store and apparently it is because the App contained better emojis.

Apple messing with Telegram
Published in Mobiles
Thursday, 11 August 2022 12:02

Apple messing with Telegram


Telegram CEO Founder dares to complain

Telegram CEO Founder Pavel Valeryevich Durov has apparently realised that the fruity cargo cult Apple is messing with him.

Apple finally brings back the battery gauge
Published in Mobiles
Tuesday, 09 August 2022 11:39

Apple finally brings back the battery gauge


After keeping users in the dark for so long

Fruity cargo cult Apple has finally caved into pressure and bought back the battery percentage gauge on the iOS 16.

Apple dragged into Taiwan mess
Published in Mobiles
Friday, 05 August 2022 13:20

Apple dragged into Taiwan mess


Chinese causing trouble over Nancy Pelosi's visit 

Fruity cargo cult Apple has told its Taiwanese suppliers that they must follow draconian Chinese customs regulations after the company had components held up in customs.

Apple says hit the road jack to iPad
Published in News
Friday, 05 August 2022 12:52

Apple says hit the road jack to iPad


Entry-level iPad loses useful tool

Apple's upcoming entry-level iPad is rumored to cut the 3.5mm headphone jack which while being incredibly useful had been purged from Jobs' Mob's line up ages ago.

Dell boldly goes where Apple could not
Published in Mobiles
Wednesday, 03 August 2022 11:45

Dell boldly goes where Apple could not


Patents a method to wireless charge a phone from your PC

After years of trying to get a PC to wirelessly charge a phone from a PC and failing, fruity cargo cult Apple has been beaten to the punch by the grey box shifter Dell.