iPhone shipments slump

Samsung has surged ahead of the Fruity Cargo Cult Apple in 2025 smartphone shipments, clawing back ground after years of being squeezed by Cupertino and a swarm of Chinese rivals.

Job's Mob can't hide behind its walled garden for much longer

The AI boom is giving TSMC a roaring tailwind while the Fruity Cargo Cult Apple clings to its glory years and hopes no one notices it has not invented a genuinely new product in yonks.

Bloomberg pours cold water on CEO-exit fantasies as engineers flee for shinier toys

The fruity cargo cult, Apple cannot even manage a clean rumour cycle these days, with Bloomberg’s Mark Gurman now rubbish­ing earlier claims that Tim Cook was about to shuffle off the CEO perch next year.

Limited edition sock proves taste is optional if it has an Apple label

The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple has sold out its iPhone Pocket, which is selling so well despite being an overpriced sock.

Only Apple could glorify a pouch as a lifestyle revolution.

The fruity cargo cultists in Cupertino have teamed up with fashion house ISSEY MIYAKE to unveil the iPhone Pocket, which is essentially a knitted phone sock costing more than a halfway decent budget handset.

Outshines iPhone biz as server demand roars ahead

Contract manufacturing giant Foxconn has posted a 17 per cent surge in third-quarter profits, with AI servers doing the heavy lifting while iPhones took a backseat.

Cash cow continues to die

The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple has managed another quarter of solid numbers while admitting that the iPhone cash cow is looking a bit sad.

Apple slashes output after buyers give it the cold shoulder

The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple is reportedly slashing production of its iPhone Air after punters decided they’d rather stick with the standard iPhone 17 or the flashier iPhone 17 Pro.

Job’s Mob hypes specs 

The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple has rolled out new MacBook Pro, iPad Pro and Apple Vision Pro models and stuffed them with a shiny M5, which it claims is finally ready for the AI era.

Fruity cargo cult’s chip clout under threat

The fruity cargo cult Apple may be about to lose its long-held grip over TSMC as Nvidia muscles in with a deluge of orders for high-performance computing parts and AI kit.