Apple in hot water
Published in News
Wednesday, 14 February 2024 11:55

Apple in hot water


Beeper Mini fiasco bubbles up again

Republican Commissioner Brendan Carr is demanding the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) probe into Apple’s swift shutdown of Beeper Mini, the cheeky app that dared to bring iMessage to Android.

Lawmakers think a law against stupid Apple fanboys is needed
Published in News


Anti-Rich Moron law

US politicians are mulling new laws because Apple fanboys are too stupid to take their Vision Pro headsets off when they are driving.

Apple's Vision Pro is a plastic turkey
Published in News
Tuesday, 06 February 2024 10:38

Apple's Vision Pro is a plastic turkey


Plastic scratches easily and passwords require Apple store visit

The Apple Vision Pro is a bulky bit of mixed-reality kit, and that's because most of us thought it was made of posh materials like glass and aluminium.

Archetypal Apple fanboy arrested
Published in News
Monday, 05 February 2024 11:01

Archetypal Apple fanboy arrested


Rich and incredibly stupid

A daft driver was caught red-handed by the cops after he tried to drive a Tesla with a £2,500 Apple gadget strapped to his face.

Chinese phone giant orders more Mate 70s
Published in News
Thursday, 01 February 2024 11:22

Chinese phone giant orders more Mate 70s


Cleaning Apple’s clock

Chinese phone giant Huawei plans to order more Mate 70s, its latest and greatest smartphone, to eliminate Apple and its iPhone 16 from the Chinese market.

Apple extends its 5G modem licensing with Qualcomm
Published in Mobiles


To last through March 2027 is a big day for QTL

Qualcomm has announced its Q1 fiscal 2024 results and is back to growth. The restructuring is working out, as the company announced $9.92 billion in revenues and $2.77 billion in net income, exceeding the high end of the company's guidance. A significant announcement of a great quarter result is that Apple will use Qualcomm's 5G licensing at least until the end of Q1 2027.

Apple hits roadblock in modem design
Published in News
Thursday, 01 February 2024 11:01

Apple hits roadblock in modem design


Not innovative enough to ditch Qualcomm  

The dark satanic rumour mill has manufactured a hell-on-earth yarn, claiming that the fruity cargo cult Apple is being forced to delay the generation of its modem chips because it can’t get them to go.

Tame Apple Press starting to admit that the Vision Pro is pants
Published in IoT


Not ready to be released

After Jobs Mob lifted the embargo on the first wave of “non-curated reviews” of its Vision Pro headset the Tame Apple Press is being forced to admit publically that the gear is not ready for release.

Netflix says no thanks to $3,500 Apple specs that nobody wants
Published in IoT


Apple’s Vision Pro VR headset is a waste of everyone’s cash

Netflix is everywhere. It's on your phone, computer, and game console, even on the old Nintendo Wii, but it will not be on Apple's pricey Vision Pro VR headset.

Apple loses Russian roulette game against Putin
Published in News
Wednesday, 24 January 2024 11:44

Apple loses Russian roulette game against Putin


Will have to help fund Putin's special operation in Ukraine

Fruity cargo-cult Apple has been forced to pay a $13 million Russian fine as President Vladimir Putin tightens his fist on foreign tech firms who are still trying to make money in his country.