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Apple TV coming out

by on31 July 2015


Same as the old one but thinner

Apple will apparently launch its new Apple TV in September. 

According to the Tame Apple Press  the launch is "much anticipated." We are not sure who has been anticipating the arrival of an Apple TV. We think the Tame Apple Press would say any Apple product was "much anticipated" even if it was bubonic plague-infected rat with an Apple logo stitched on its arse.

In this case the anticipation is seemingly because the Apple TV box hasn't had a significant update since 2012 mostly because it was greeted by a loud sounding yawn.

This time there are rumours that Apple is going to have an expanded TV service we guess that means it plans to stream continuous Coldplay and U2 concerts. The excuse for Apple being so late was that it could not strike fitting deals with content providers.  However like most excuses this turned out to be bogus.

According to the Tame Apple Press, Jobs' Mob has used these "extra few months" to make the new Apple TV "more polished." After two years polishing we would have thought that meant a turd that is so shiny you can see your face in it.

it will come with a slimmer body and an Apple A8 processor with more increased storage. Given that one of the problems with TV boxes is trying to run them with mobile phone chips this will be a disappointment.

The headline kit to come with it is a new remote control that has been "drastically improved" through adding a touch pad and Siri voice controls. So all the gear that has been on other TVs and TV boxes for months.

As for the streaming content. Don't hold your breath on that one. Apple's "ambitious new subscription TV service" is not ready and will likely launch as an extra service sometime next year.

Last modified on 31 July 2015
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