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Monday, 21 April 2014 10:52

Apple Maps claims to find Loch Ness monster

Written by Nick Farrell

Another Jobs’ Mob fail

Desperate to salvage the reputation of Apple Maps, which is to Cartography what Prince Joffrey was to human rights, Apple fanboys started a rumour started over the weekend that the software had found the Loch Ness Monster. Apple Insider ran a picture under the headline “Apple's maps trump Google's as hopefuls hunt for legendary Loch Ness Monster.”

“One of the world's most enduring mysteries added another layer recently, as amateur sleuths have discovered what they claim to be the Loch Ness Monster lurking under the water of the famous lake using satellite imagery from Apple Maps, after finding Google's monster tracking solutions unworkable,” the site said.

We read on expecting an April Fool’s joke at the end, everyone knows that Apple Maps can’t find an Apple store, let alone a mythological creature which has alluded everyone. Since cryptozoology is not a science, it will continue to do so, since it simply does not exist. Nevertheless satellite photos offered by Apple shows off what could be Nessie, the nickname for the fabled Loch Ness monster. Sure enough, like most things Apple Map related it turned out to be all hype and as reliable as using a dowsing rod.

‘Nessie’ happened to be nothing more than a wake of a boat and it was pretty obvious. Nothing to see here move on please. But that did not stop Apple fanboys sharing it on Facebook and claiming that Apple technology had succeeded were Google’s had failed.

Next they will be scanning Apple Maps looking for Bigfoot, but given that Apple Maps already claimed to have found a road that goes straight off the Hoover Dam, and shown Big Ben with four different times on its clock face, we expect that there will be a lot more impossible things for iFanboys to see.

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