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Friday, 04 July 2014 11:13

Vibrator app shames Apple fans

Written by Nick Farrell

Everyone knows you touch yourself

An app which turned an iPhone into a sex toy is in trouble with its customers who saw their names connected to the product in the Apple App Store. Users flocked to Apple's App Store wrote five-star reviews of a free app called iVibe Massager. For some reason no one thought their posts would be seen by people who knew them. Now fearing that their mothers, girlfriends, boyfriends, and the family pet might find out they have been frantically trying to get their posts taken down.

Some have apparently tried to bribe the app's developer, Robot Mouse, offering to trade excellent reviews for a complete removal of the purchase from their iTunes history.

One wrote: "I saw this on a website with a friend and thought it was funny and she downloaded it and I don't want my parents to take it the wrong way!" The mind boggles as to what the right way actually is.

The reviews seem to have disappeared and on the app store, the developers have warned any Johnny Come Lately types that if they want to remove this app from their purchase list, they need to contact Apple support.

“We have nothing to do with your purchase list and therefore CANNOT remove anything."

What is a little odd is that the app got past the iTune’s censorship committee who believe that most fanboys are expected to orgasm by listening to Siri while ogling the sacred rounded rectangle.

The App store is supposed to be “family friendly” which in the US means believing that sex is evil and only for the purposes of producing Christian children. The thought of using toys is something that those decadent Europeans might do and this why the Puritans left Europe in the first place.

The iVibe app might have gotten around this by pitching itself as a "great personal massager" which can be used on "personal areas to spice up your life.”

To an Apple fan having sex with your phone is probably the ultimate in worship.

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