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Tuesday, 22 November 2011 11:58

Apple comes up with daft airbag idea

Written by Nick Farell

apple

Easier than coming up with a gadget that works

Fruity cargo-cult Apple, still desperate to prove that it is actually inventing things rather than just suing other more innovative outfits, has come up with an airbag for iPads.

Apparently the iPad is more fragile than a butterfly's wing and cannot handle being dropped. Rather than making the gear more rugged Apple has come up with an airbag with will automatically inflate if the device is dropped.

We guess then you will have to take it to your Apple genius bar and pay to have the airbag reset. Still it will be good news for all those Apple fanbois who are becoming increasingly desperate to find new ways to give their money to Jobs' Mob for absolutely no reason.

Anyway the problem is caused by the fact that Apple thinks it is a brilliant idea to make stuff out of glass, which shatters when it is dropped. The answer is not to use something more sensible, but to build a tunable shock mount that would sit between the glass and the body of the device. This shock mount would inflate when the device's accelerometer senses that the phone or tablet is falling. An actuator within the device would suck in the cover glass as it accelerates toward earth, protecting it from damage.  

What could go wrong? Fall over and your iPhone or iPad will think it is doomed and hit the inflation button. Likewise you would not want to take it sking.


Nick Farell

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Comments  

 
0 #1 NickThePrick 2011-11-22 18:45
I don't even know where to start on pointing out what could possibly go wrong.

For the money they charge they might as well build the damn thing out of steel. Or is that too heavy for those wimpy Appleboys? Than again, could open Apple gyms across the globe with Apple sportswear to properly train folks for the device. (I'll sue if they do that!)
 
 
-2 #2 thetruth 2011-11-22 21:16
Yeah! Stupid Apple, always coming up with new ideas to deal with problems that people are facing! They're either copying ideas that other people have come up with already, or they're coming out with new ideas which must OBVIOUSLY be stupid because the competition doesn't have them yet.

I would congratulate Apple on this idea, but it's too much hassle to do so on this site.
 
 
0 #3 Wolfdale 2011-11-22 21:36
this very same news was posted on fudzilla several weeks/months ago... bad bad bad

this kinda lousy posting additude of fudzilla really makes the site more and more crap.. anyone has a better alternative? >
 
 
0 #4 God Of Atheism 2011-11-23 08:09
Nice when you take it along in a car, train, or plane. The acceleration would be such that it would blow up, especially in a car that would easily lead to a nasty accident. Flight mode could work for a plane, but then what if you drop it in the plane?

On bicycle, suppose you have it in your pocket and fall, if your fall didn't damage your clothes, an expanding iphone will.
 

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