Profits down – if only there were some good software to help it restructure

The maker of expensive management software, which no-one really knows what it does, SAP has seen its profits take a dip.

Core profit drops

The expensive esoteric software outfit which makes management software which no one is really sure quite what it does, but the CEO thinks they need it, reported slightly lower-than-expected first-quarter core profit.

Starts charging their customers too

The expensive management software outfit which no one is really sure what it does has worked out a way of screwing more cash out of its customers by forcing them to charge THEIR customers.

Altiscale becomes part of the mystery

The esoteric business software outfit which makes expensive business software which no one can be certain what it does, has just bought the cloud start-up Altiscale.

High-margin and classy packaging

The maker of expensive esoteric business software, which no one really understands, is continuing to make loads of money.

Think they know what the software does

The maker of expensive management software which no one is really sure what it does, SAP is finding that its customers are not a big fan of all the jargon and buzzwords the company uses.

Still not sure what they do

SAP, which makes expensive business software which is so esoteric no one really knows what it does, is cutting some of its expensive staff members.

Need more silver clouds

Slow sales

Sims on board