Apple did not get to talk with senior managers

Japanese car company Nissan has mocked rumours in the Tame Apple Press that it was entertaining an offer from Jobs' Mob to make its self-driving car.

Damn, we don’t know who we want to win this one

Social notworking Tsar, Mark Zuckerberg, has angered the Tame Apple press by wanting to hurt its favourite company.

The State will kill the iPhone

Fruity cargo cult Apple has warned that the State of North Dakota will do what common sense has failed to do – kill off the iPhone.

RBC Capital Market’s advice

RBC Capital Markets says Apple could make a tidy sum if it decided to start being more innovative and copy Tesla by getting into cryptocurrencies.

Wage rebellion closed Wistron plant

Apple said Wistron had begun the process of restarting operations at its violence-hit factory in southern India and that it was working with the Taiwanese firm to ensure that all necessary systems were in place.

Nothing is faster than the M1

The Tame Apple Press is incandescent with rage after Intel published benchmarks that proved its chips were faster than Apple’s M1.

Too interested in control

Fruity cargo cult Apple has lost the opportunity to make its self-driving car because it did not want to change its way of working with Hyundai.

Washington Post shocked

Normally onside with Apple, the Washington Post has been shocked to discover that Apple's privacy claims for its Apple store appear to be a tad over optimistic.

EU antitrust enforcers appeal

EU antitrust enforcers have claimed a court made legal errors when it scrapped their order for iPhone maker Apple to pay 13 billion euro in Irish back taxes, in a filing to have the verdict overturned.

This will run and run

A long-simmering public dispute between Facebook and Apple is going to result in the social notworking outfit suing the cargo cult for antitrust antics.