Apple fanboy reveals that his favourite company is security nightmare
Fruity cargo-cult Apple has released its macOS High Sierra desktop and notebook operating system in the full knowledge that it has a zero day bug which allows hackers to steal password details.
Tame Apple Press is miffed
When Apple releases an inferior product, traditionally the Tame Apple Press wades in to hawk it. It seems that the reviewers of Apple’s current batch of products did not get the memo.
Apple environmental officer sees nothing wrong with stopping people repairing their phones
The fruity cargo cult Apple’s environmental officer must have a conflict of interest when it comes to keeping the planet safe when she works for an outfit whose sole reason for being is flogging overpriced toys to rich kids and making profits.
No one wants to queue for animated poo
Apple’s iPhone 8 launch day has been a disaster with hardly anyone showing up.
Wants you to pay for it any way
Fruity Cargo Cult Apple has admitted that its new Apple 3 watch is borked but it is going to sell it to Apple fanboys at the end of the week anyway.
The Tame Apple Press is going overboard to try to convince the world that Apple is not really forcing its users to pay a high margin.
You will have to pay £249 more than the rest of the world
Fruity Cargo cult Apple has decided that it really hates its UK fanboys and is making them pay £249 more than Americans for the new iPhone X.
While claiming that this year was the year of the Linux desktop
Jim Zemlin, President of the Linux Foundation, appears to have hit levels of fail unprecedented in the open saucy world.
No cookies on this Safari
The biggest advertising organisations say Apple will "sabotage" the current economic model of the internet with plans to integrate cookie blocking technology into the new version of Safari.
Others are not supposed to look at your phone
The fruity cargo-cult Apple, yeah you heard it first here, is famous for its "dog ate my homework" excuses when its overpriced technology suffers from design flaws – normally blaming the customers.