If your iPhone 13 screen breaks you will not have to use Apple replacement

Fruity cargo cult Apple has backed down in the face of some stonking criticism for the evil way it handle broken iPhone 13 screen repairs.

Must be fixed by Apple

While some companies have been making their products more accessible and useful for users, the fruity cargo cult Apple has been working out ways to make its products impossible to fix.

Staff will still be masked

Apple will remove its mask mandate for customers at many US retail stores from Friday as COVID-19 cases decline.

Apple warns the EU

Apple software boss Craig Ferengi Federighi took the stage at the Web Summit in Lisbon to push Apple’s line that reducing its monopoly powers over its app store would result in less security for EU users.

Claims it is due to global chip supply crunch

Apple has slashed production of iPad tablets and the Tame Apple Press claims that it is cannibalising components for the iPhone 13.

Expects to get the Epic Games case thrown out

Fruity cargo cult Apple outlined its objections to allowing app developers to link to third-party payment options ahead of a hearing next month that could determine whether a set of antitrust court orders is put on pause.

Apple fanboys are really too stupid to exist in the genepool

You can generally tell how stupid and susceptible to marketing a person is by how much Apple gear he or she owns. The extent of an Apple fan’s stupidity has now reached a new low with the release of Apple’s $20 rag.

It was not us it was the supply chain

Fruity cargo cult Apple, which has legendary control over its supply chain, is now blaming its poor results on its suppliers.

T
ame Apple Press dons sackcloth and ashes

There was a cry of despair among the Tame Apple Press as it was revealed that software King of the World Microsoft was close to unseating Apple as the world's most valuable company.

 
Apple’s privacy rules hurt everyone

Apple's privacy rules were "negatively affecting" Facebook, and its business, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg claimed during its most recent earnings call.