Apple is not scaling back desktops claims Cook
Published in News


Trying to reassure staff they are super cool and loved after all

Apple’s Steve Ballmer, Tim Cook has been trying to reassure staff that he has not given up on desktop technology.

Samsung might copy Apple’s dumb pricing
Published in News


S8 will be 20 per cent more

The dark satanic rumour mill has manufactured a hell on earth yarn that Samsung has decided to copy one of Apple’s more surreal features – is silly pricing.

Apple works out users want duel Sim's
Published in Mobiles


Tries to patent a dual-sim iPhone

Fruity tax-dodging cargo cult Apple has finally worked out that everyone is using dual sim smartphones and is frantically trying to claim it invented the idea.

Apple is a Dickensian nightmare
Published in Mobiles


No lunch for you Oliver Twist


While Apple has been in hot water for over working employees working with its Chinese partners, it appears that the tax-dodging cargo cult treats its US workers poorly too.

LG to sell foldable OLED panels to Apple, Google and Microsoft
Published in Mobiles


Prototypes for now

Back in October, a report circulated that Samsung and LG were seeking to win orders for the manufacture of “out-foldable” OLED panels with major smartphone manufacturers for use in upcoming devices.

112.3 million smartphones shipped in China
Published in Mobiles


And nine million bicycles in Beijing

Figures in from the Far East show that the Chinese smartphone market is hotting up.

Bezos diplomatic after Trump meeting
Published in News


Hatchet buried?


Donald “Prince of Orange” Trump met up with Silicon Valley’s big names yesterday to repair the damage of the election campaign.

Apple removes Macbook Pro's battery indicator
Published in News


Have faith in our marketing claims


The fruity tax-dodging cargo cult Apple has a novel way of stopping its users from finding out the truth about its bogus marketing claims about battery life – it has stripped the iOS from any method of measuring it.

Apple delays its other wireless headphones
Published in News


BeatsX goes the Duke Nukem way


After forcing its iPhone users to dump their headphone jacks, Apple has been rubbish at supplying them with wireless phones that work.

Apple sticks brake pads on Airpads
Published in Wearables


Can't get them to go in time for Christmas 

The Tame Apple Press is shocked that Apple can’t get its overpriced cordless Airpad headphones into the shops in time for Christmas.