Incredible amounts of money seem to have been invested in cellphone studies that have since been recycled into toilet paper but now a publication of a study in the Journal of American Medical Association claims that chatting on the phone may boost brain metabolic rate.

The authors of the study performed tests on 50 persons and used PET scans to measure metabolic activity. The participants of the study were strapped with cellphones to each of their ears. The cellphones were Samsung’s standard CDMA flip phones and they were activated on cue. One set of data was unusable unfortunately, as the call was dropped by the telco – most likely for not appreciating head-strapped phone science.

The scientists focused only on the regions that receive most exposure from the antenna and while there wasn’t any general difference, certain areas of the brain reacted relatively strongly. This would mean that localized exposure encourages neurons to fire more often.

I must admit that nobody be happier than yours truly if everybody’s neurons started firing at least at a decent rate nowadays, because it sure doesn’t seem like it is the case. Furthermore, real-world application of such “boosts” seems to have not worked quite well, as most people yapping on their cells all day probably had somewhat clogged up neurons to begin with.

I guess the next “work of science” is to strap an iPad to someone’s forehead and see if it makes him any poorer or cooler for purchasing it.

More here.