It is like Game of Thrones, with the wrong type of boobies

Apple’s Information Systems & Technology [IS&T] department which builds much of the company's internal technology tools is completely paranoid and dysfunctional, according to a former staffer.

Can’t handle big stuff

Mac users are experiencing occasional system crashes after updating to macOS Catalina version 10.15.4, released a few weeks ago and it turns out that the software might not be up to snuff.

Is amazed at how dull their life is

The Tame Apple Press is mortified to discover that a hacker has managed to find three holes in Safari and use them to take control of the camera of any Apple PC.

Anti-competative

 Tile, which helps users find missing items,said it is completely lost why the convicted monopolist Apple's anti-competative antics are getting worse.

We invented the weather

Apple has given a popular weather app a pile of cash and told it to shut off Android users from the service.

Bigger things to worry about

The Tame Apple Press is having to face up to the fact that the coronavirus might have killed off any chance Jobs’ Mob might have had sorting out the declining demand for its iPhone.

Plenty of time, it is not as if anyone else has 5G out there

Fruity cargo cult Apple is considering sitting on installing 5G in its coming phones.

Software genii strike again

The fruity cargo cult Apple’s software genii have had yet another success developing VPN software which reveals all its users secrets and stops traffic from being encrypted.

Suspended due to 21 day lock-down

Apple’s manufacturing partners, Foxconn and Wistron have ‘temporarily’ suspended all iPhone production to comply with government of India’s 21-day lockdown to curb the spread of novel coronavirus.

They are more like us

Speech recognition systems from five of the world's biggest tech companies -- Amazon, Apple, Google, IBM and Microsoft -- make far fewer errors with users who are white than with users who are black.