Apple's partners join it in share slump jump
Published in News


Co-dependency is such a two-edged sword

Companies who have found themselves too depending on the fruity cargo cult Apple are finding their share prices gutted, as the company's iPhone suffers a bad case of mad cash cow disease.  

Apple in trouble as new iPhones fail to attract interest
Published in Mobiles


Shares tumble as cash cow stuck

Apple fanboys are ignoring Jobs’ Mob’s latest iPhone offerings in droves leading shareholders to see darker days ahead for Apple.

Apple will not have an October rally
Published in News
Wednesday, 28 September 2022 10:40

Apple will not have an October rally


Trumph of the will has broken gearbox 

Apple analyst, Mark Gurman, the company doesn't have enough products to hold a dedicated event in October, so it might have decide to launch them with separate press releases instead.

Apple's new expensive iPhone's have a battery problem
Published in Mobiles


Why can't Apple get the batteries right?

The Tame Apple Press is having to admit that its favourite company's iPhone 14 Pro and iPhone 14 Pro Max is a lemon... or at least is better off powered by one.

Firefox maker moans about operating systems
Published in News
Monday, 26 September 2022 13:04

Firefox maker moans about operating systems


Microsoft, Google, and Apple using their browsers to shut down browser rivals 

Big Cheeses at the Mozzarella Foundation are hacked off that Microsoft, Google, and Apple are using their operating systems to steer users to their browsers and stacking the deck against rivals.

Apple Pay Later is delayed
Published in Mobiles
Monday, 26 September 2022 12:50

Apple Pay Later is delayed


Installment plan to help more people into debt does not work

Fruity cargo cult Apple's moves into the financial sector are working out about as well as you expect and its flagship "Apple Pay Later" has been ironically delayed until next year. 

Apple sticks to steam driven screen refresh rates
Published in Mobiles
Wednesday, 21 September 2022 11:12

Apple sticks to steam driven screen refresh rates


It is not as if users will notice

The dark satanic rumour mill has manufactured a hell-on-earth yarn claiming that Apple is going to stick to its truly out-of-date refresh rates on its base iPhone’s until next year.

Apple’s power behind the “App Association” questioned
Published in News


It is supposed to represent developers

The ability of the App Association [ACT] to represent developers has been called into question after it was discovered that the vast amount of its funding comes from the fruity cargo cult Apple.

Apple admits camera on expensive iPhones has rubbish software
Published in Mobiles


Will be providing a rubber band and software which does work next week

Fruity cargo-cult Apple is having some serious headaches with the software in its iPhone 14 Pro and iPhone 14 Pro Max and has admitted that it will have to fix it before the camera will work properly.

Apple has a problem -- it could be about to fall behind Android
Published in Mobiles


Next generation Android cleans Apple's clock 

Following the disappointing Phone 14 Pro and the iPhone 14 Pro Max launches the Tame Apple Press are having to recognise that the next generation of Android will out perform Apple.