Our PCs are catching fire again

The fruity cargo cult Apple appears to be returning to the days when its Apple Macs could be guaranteed to catch fire on press day.

And they wonder why they can't breed

More than 17 percent of people who buy Apple ear-buds are so attached to their over-priced and useless gear they don't take them out even to have sex.

Will take 18 months

Fruity cargo cult Apple has decided to spend the next 18 months avoiding the impact of US/China tariffs by moving a third of its production out of China.

Just as well we are pure and holy.

The maker of tech that became famous by stealing ideas from other companies and claiming it invented them says it is terrible when other companies create chaos while doing that.

After it knifed its partner

Fruity cargo cult Apple is rumoured to be negotiating with Intel to buy the 5G technology that it rejected for its iPhone.

Upgrade them all

Fruity cargo cult Apple has worked out a way of forcing its users to upgrade all their cabled gear – it is killing off its Lightning port.

So you can’t upgrade on the cheap

Fruity cargo cult Apple is famous for its expensive SSD upgrades which make expensive machines ridiculously more expensive, but now it appears that the outfit has taken an extra step to force customers to pay its upgrade bill.

We will just make iPhones outside China

Foxconn said that it will rescue its chum Apple from Trump’s out-of-control trade war.

Opinion: Mike Magee's Rave - War of the Worlds kicks off

I never in my wildest dreams – and my dreams are wild, by the way – that I considered that a headline could combine Mandarin, French, English and German. This one has.

It turns out those lock-ins have a knock-on effect

Over the last few years, Apple has quietly killed off the online advertising industry, and in iOS 13, it's kneecapping the digital marketing industry completely.