Apple protects the dead
Published in News
Wednesday, 20 January 2016 11:39

Apple protects the dead


Keep your wife out of your email while you enjoy the afterlife

Fruity cargo cult Apple is providing a new feature for dead fanboys – it is apparently locking loved ones out of your accounts without a court order.

Apple, Samsung and Sony in child-labour claim
Published in News


Seven year olds mining for Cobalt


Apple, Samsung and Sony have been named and shamed in an Amnesty International report for not doing enough to prevent child labour crimes in the production of products.

Donald Trump attacks Apple
Published in News
Tuesday, 19 January 2016 12:33

Donald Trump attacks Apple


Build your gear in America dammit!

Comedy presidential option Donald Trump has angered the Tame Apple Press by daring to suggest that if he was elected Apple would be forced to make its products in the US.

Apple will not bring out new iWatch in March
Published in Wearables


Just a minor update 

Hopes that the fruity cargo cult Apple would save its moribund iWatch with a bold new wearable device, which did what everyone though the first one would do, are looking less likely.

iPhone 6S has a super cool lying battery feature
Published in Mobiles


Gives you the impression the battery life is longer

Apple has revealed that its iPhone 6s, which is remaining on the shelves because no one wants it, has a super cool feature which tells you your battery is fuller than it really is.

TSMC's 5nm plans revealed
Published in Processors
Monday, 18 January 2016 11:27

TSMC's 5nm plans revealed


Two years after 7nm

Foundry TSMC claims it will be ready to roll out its 5nm process technology two years after the launch of its 7nm node..

Apple’s Gatekeeper patch does not work
Published in News
Friday, 15 January 2016 15:20

Apple’s Gatekeeper patch does not work


Patch was just a Placebo

The Tame Apple Press did its best to tell the world that the fruity cargo cult Apple had fixed the Gatekeeper bug in its iOS software, however it looks like it is still broken and the patch was a placebo.

TSMC does rather well
Published in News
Friday, 15 January 2016 11:20

TSMC does rather well


Will out perform the industry average

While many expected TSMC to suffer from from the downturn in China it appears that the company is still doing rather nicely thank-you.

Apple to blame for Nivdia cards storing p*rn
Published in Graphics
Thursday, 14 January 2016 10:47

Apple to blame for Nivdia cards storing p*rn


Apple's genius programming strikes again

Nvidia claims that the recent Chrome security bug which causes its cards to remember sites which should have been forgotten before freezing your screen is entirely the fault of programming geniuses at Apple.

Qualcomm wants to know which rat squealed to the watchdogs
Published in Processors


Applies for court documents

Qualcomm is very interested who ratted it out to the Korean anti-trust authroities and has asked seven of its major customers and rivals to hand over the paperwork of what they told the watchdogs.