Died before it even got off the ground

Retail companies and brands are walking away from their much-hyped Metaverse plans before they even started.

Tame Apple Press sulks 

In the fourth quarter of 2022 the Tame Apple Press was overjoyed when Apple replaced Samsung as the top seller of smartphones, now it turns out that quarter was an aboration and the South Koreans are back on top again.

Agrees to allow apps to be hosted outside its official store

Fruity cargo cult Apple has finally bent to European pressure and will allow iPhone users to download apps hosted outside of its official App Store.

Tame Apple press goes into meltdown

The Tame Apple Press has been calling on its readers to boycott General Motors cars after the outfit dumped Apple Play or Android Auto as its in-car entertainment system.

Tanking shipments fall by 40.5 per cent

Fruity cargo cult Apple saw its PC sales fall faster than a team of free-fall parachuting elephants who have forgotten to pack the key component of their act.

Fortunately, Microsoft saved Apple’s security bacon

A cyber mercenary outfit QuaDream was using holes in iPhone security to allow governments to spy on journalists and political opposition figures for repressive regimes.

This time it may not surrender

France's anti-trust watchdog, the French Competition Authority, is likely to move forward soon with an antitrust investigation into Apple over complaints tied to 2021 changes to its app tracking policies.

iPhones worth more than a bank vault

In a move normally reserved for thieves wanting to break into bank vaults, robbers tunnelled their way into an Apple backstore to steal $500,000 worth of iPhones (that is probably about six).

We doubt anyone will notice

iPhone owners who have been saving money by using older phones and not updating their iOS are going to have a nasty surprise later this year.

Texas man fears he could be shot any day

 A Texas man has begged Apple to pull finger and fix a glitch in their 'Find My iPhone' app before a patriotic fellow American uses their constitutional rights to execute him for stealing their expensive gear.