It will probably have a rotary dial

The dark satanic rumour mill has manufactured a hell on earth yarn that claims the fruity cargo cult Apple is thinking of putting out a “cheap” mobile phone.

Even when it is turned off

Fruity cargo cult Apple is in the middle of another spying row after security researcher and journalist Brian Krebs noted that the flagship iPhone 11 Pro will track a user’s location, even when location settings are turned off.

No ports in a storm

Apple analyst Ming-Chi Kuo says there will be four new OLED iPhone models in 2020, followed by a new iPhone without a Lightning port in 2021.

A Russian man is suing

A Russian bloke is suing Apple after he claimed its iPhone made him a homosexual.

The structure of the universe has changed

After years of wetting its pants with excitement every time a new iPhone comes out, the New York Times is telling its readers it is pointless to upgrade to the new iPhone.

While is why Blackburn in Lancashire is deserted 

People with a fear of small holes have claimed the design of Apple's iPhone 11 Pro is triggering their phobia.

We can get things cheaper and better here thanks

Analysts hope that Apple's price reductions on its new iPhones would attract the attention of Asian buyers have been dashed.

Looks like a rectangular bowling ball

The jury is still out as to whether Apple is serious about design any more after it released an iPhone which broke most of Steve Jobs' design rules.

There are just too many of them, and Android is hard to beat

Security exploits broker Zerodium is paying a higher price for Zero Day attacks that target Android than it pays for comparable attacks targeting iOS.

September 10, 10 AM PST / 7 PM CET / 6PM BST

Companies like launching new products on Tuesdays and Apple traditionally launches its new iPhone in the September timeframe.