Italy mulls iPhone ban
Published in Mobiles

Persecuting the Apple cult in the traditional Roman way

The country which gave the world pizza, pasta and European civilisation is mulling over saving the nation from the fruity cargo cult by banning the iPhone.

Apple's success was because Jobs had problems
Published in Mobiles

He hated being outsmugged by Microsoft so he stole its tablet 

The messiah of the fruity cargo-cult, Steve Jobs, apparently was only interested in hacking off a single Microsoft executive when he stole the idea for the tablet and the smartphone.

Jobs wanted iPhone to be more like Android
Published in Mobiles

But his designers said it was a bad idea

Steve Jobs wanted the iPhone to be more like Android and have a back button in addition to a home button, however the designers overruled him.

Next iPhone will have wireless charging
Published in Mobiles

At last Apple has invented it

The geniuses at Apple will finally invent gaming changing wireless charging technology, which none of its rivals have, and it will be in the next iPhone.

Users face collateral damage in Apple’s war with Qualcomm
Published in News

Iphones will be slower than anyone else

The Tame Apple Press has just woken up to something we have been saying for ages – the iPhone will have slower download speeds because Apple wants to punish Qualcomm for not doing what it is told.

Apple wants to remove users from devices
Published in Mobiles

Replace fanboys with AI

Fruity tax-dodging cargo-cult Apple is working out a way to cut out a major weakness in its devices' business model – its users.

Apple agrees to help French flight inquiry
Published in Mobiles

Ipad and iPhone might have crashed a plane

Fruity cargo-cult Apple has agreed to help a French inquiry into a plane crash.

Apple wants fanboys to pay $1,099 for iPhone
Published in Mobiles

For the same spec as a two year old Samsung

A research note shared by a Goldman Sachs analyst has suggested that the 256GB iPhone 8 will cost consumers $1,099.

Qualcomm seeks to ban the iPhone
Published in Mobiles

Saving the world from Tyranny

Chipmaker Qualcomm is taking steps to save the world from Apple’s technology tyranny by banning the iPhone in the US.

Apple sees second iPhone slump
Published in News

Cash cow on life support

The fruity tax-dodging cargo-cult Apple has finally fessed up that its iPhone cashcow is on life support.