Apple's great cloud failure
Published in News

And still the problem increases

One of the good things about being a huge company which makes piles of dosh over a couple of products is that no one notices what you are doing wrong in a smaller part of your empire, and this is precisely what has been happening with Apple and its cloud.

Smartphone industry set to consolidate
Published in Mobiles

Competition is too brutal warns Huawei

The smartphone industry is set to consolidate as crucial players surrender to the market leaders, warned a Huawei bigwig.

Apple iPhones keep calling the emergency services
Published in Mobiles

Help my owner is an idiot

The programming geniuses at Apple have installed another feature in iPhones which means that they randomly call the emergency services when they are being serviced.

Apple owes Ireland 13 billion euro
Published in News

Pretty much what the EU has been saying all along

The Irish government's tax man was asked by the government what he thought Apple owed the country over its dodgy tax arrangement and he agreed with the EU.

We have reached peak smartphone numbers
Published in Mobiles

Apple doomed unless it can come up with something else

IDC beancounters have added up some numbers and worked out that we have reached "peak smartphone" which means that unless Apple can come up with a new cash cow, it is doomed to maintain or lose its stonking sales figures.

Apple purges Christian holiday from iPhone
Published in Mobiles

Thou shalt not have any gods before Steve Jobs

The fruity cargo cult Apple has taken its first stand against rival religions by banning fanboys from celebrating the most significant holiday on the Christian calendar.

Apple feature crashes phone with a single button
Published in News

Comedy programming strikes again

The fruity cargo cult Apple’s comedy programming team have come up with a super, cool, well designed, bug which crashes your phone, iwatch, iPad or apple television by pressing a single letter.

Homehub is the destroyer of wooden objects
Published in News

Don't stick it on your desk or anywhere useful

Apple's overpriced, overhyped speakers have a feature that Amazon, and Google don't – they destroy anything wooden they are placed on.

Gates warns other tech companies of Microsoft style arrogance
Published in News

Don't do what we did

Bill Gates warned other tech giants that they risk the kind of nightmarish government intervention that once plagued Microsoft if they continue to act arrogantly.

Consumer Reports rubbishes HomePod
Published in News

Countering the Tame Apple Press

The Tame Apple Press is doing its best to flog Apple's overpriced mono speaker by saying that the sound quality is equal to $1,000 speakers. However, the Consumer Reports magazine is having none of that and is warning punters to ignore the hype.