Published in Mobiles

Apple goes nuclear on Thailand over iPhone leak

by on15 August 2014

Excommunication in sight

The True and Holy Cupertino cargo cult, Apple is furious with the government of Thailand for exposing the dark religious secrets of its latest shiny toy. Apple is livid that a Thai official publicly stated the country's approval of the distribution of two new iPhone 6 models yesterday.

While that is no big deal to the rest of the world, the act broke one of the most holy commandments of Steve Jobs, which is basically that any details of a product release must take place during special religious ritual. This ritual must take place in the US where 500 virgins and the elect of the Tame Apple Press must cheer enthusiastically as the head of the cult presents the shiny toy before mortals for the first time. Sacred words like super, cool must be chanted like a mantra at the product until the 500 selected really believe that the shiny toy is any different from anything else in the market and go forth and spread the word.

Apparently company has “sent its own representatives to reprimand the country”. If you are living in Thailand you can expect a knock on the door and to open it and find an Apple genius who will call you a heretic. The officials reportedly met with the National Broadcasting and Telecommunications Commission (NBTC) to discuss its disclosure of models A1586 and A1524, reputed to be the 4.7-inch and 5.5-inch iPhone 6 models. 

To be fair the Tame Apple Press has been saying this for months now, so it is hardly a secret, but a heresy is a heresy and Thailand can expect the Inquisition. NBTC secretary Takorn Tantasith even tweeted the approval, although he said nothing about the specs and designs of the models. But it was the first time that the NBTC announced the specific product numbers and especially the sacred words iPhone 6.

According to Apple, that is a trade secret. According to Tantasith it is no such thing and he stood by his decision to announce the approval.

Takorn said that representatives from Apple South Asia from the Singapore HQ arrived to 'have a chat' with him and clarified that the 2 phone models may not use the name 'iPhone 6' to market and the company want to make sure that the NBTC understands this fact, the article said. 

Apple said that the 'leak' has no effect in Apple’s plan to launch and sell the iPhone in Thailand.

The King of Siam would be better off requiring Job’s Mob to show a degree of respect or he will order them all to have their heads squashed by elephants. That way they could at least have a sense of perspective.

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