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Apple fails to get its own way in court

by on09 September 2013

It really will have to do what it is told

Fruity Cargo cult, Apple’s attempts to get a Judge to allow its anti-trust antics on religious grounds have failed. Apple told a judge that it did not have to be punished for stuffing up the book trade with a price fixing cartel because it was obeying the commands of its founder Steve Jobs.

Now the US judge who found Apple conspired to fix e-book prices imposed new restrictions on the iPad maker limiting its agreements with publishers. US District Judge Denise Cote in New York also said she would appoint an external monitor to review Apple's antitrust compliance policies, procedures and training for two years. Cote did her best to make sure that Apple was not affected too much by the injunction, however that was not good enough for Apple fundamentalists who felt it was wrong for the State to rule on religion.

The terms of Friday's judgment will expire after five years, but Cote's order allows for extensions in one-year increments if necessary. Apple said it would appeal the injunction. Fanboys have called or a day of mourning and the ceremonial touching of iFart screens outside Apple stores in protest.

“The state should not be interfering in our religious rights,” moaned one fanboy. “If Steve [Jobs] said we should pay over the odds for ebooks, then it is our religious right to pay over the odds for our ebooks in accordance to his will and genius.”

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