Published in Gaming

North Korean leader creates video game

by on21 December 2012

Racing game where speeding is frowned on

The Glorious North Korean government has created a video game which is designed to keep the person who has the country’s sole computer entertained.

The plot of the game is simple you have to deliver kidnapped movie stars to Dear Leader’s HQ where they will lead happy and fulfilled lives as sex toys to the immortal leader himself. Dubbed “Welcome to Pyongyang,” an online game that’s “produced by Nosotek, a western IT company based in North Korea.”

You have to drive around the North Korean capital of Pyongyang. In the process you become familiar with all the great tourist attractions it has to offer. As you might expect the game is annoyingly authoritarian and won’t put up with you crashing into cars or mowing down civilians. That is the government’s job. Neither will you see any of whores, crack dealers or other symbols of western decadence.

If you drive badly you get a meter maid who appears that you have been “stopped for bad driving” and who lectures you for being a bad citizen and falling short of the glory of Dear Leader. Unfortunately there is no softball bat or chainsaw to hand. It would be nice if there was a hidden Easter Egg where Dear Leader is being blown by a crack whore in a Pyongyang opium den. Somehow we doubt it, a gag like that could result in another end of the world scenario for the coder who wrote it.

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