World's leading operating system is Windows 7
Published in News


Looks like that tablet idea was really daft

The world's most popular operating system is still Windows 7, as Microsoft really regrets wasting its time with a tablet interface in Windows 8.

Tim Cook is better than Steve Jobs
Published in News
Wednesday, 01 July 2015 10:19

Tim Cook is better than Steve Jobs


Wall Street speaks heresy

A top Wall Street money man Julian Robertson has committed religious heresy against the Apple Cult by claiming that its latest CEO Tim Cook was actually better than its mystical fruity founder Steve Jobs.

Apple convicted of playing monopoly
Published in News
Wednesday, 01 July 2015 10:01

Apple convicted of playing monopoly


Still refuses to confess because it insists it is not evil.

Fruity cargo cult Apple has lost its appeal against conviction for conspiring with publishers to raise the price of e-books but is still refusing to admit it could have done anything wrong.

Foxconn "zookeeper" aims to be the world's biggest
Published in News


Wants to rival the Berlin Zoological Garden

Apple's favour supplier Foxconn (Hon Hai Precision Industry) chairman Terry Guo who once called his staff animals and himself as the Zookeeper, claims his company will be the largest OEM/ODM for handsets, tablets and desktops in 2015.

Apple designing another bendy phone
Published in Mobiles
Thursday, 25 June 2015 14:04

Apple designing another bendy phone


This time on purpose

While Apple was rightly mocked for releasing a phone which could bend easier than a Romanian gymnast it seems that the Knight of the Rounded Rectangle Sir Johnny Ives thinks it was a pretty super cool idea.

Siri joins the 9/11 conspiracy
Published in News
Thursday, 25 June 2015 12:00

Siri joins the 9/11 conspiracy


Lizard on Board

Fruity cargo cult Apple is apparently part of the Lizard inspired illuminati cover-up of the 9/11 terrorist plot.

Google issues Apple streaming spoiler
Published in News
Wednesday, 24 June 2015 12:31

Google issues Apple streaming spoiler


Launches its own music streaming service

The Search Engine Google has forced the fruity retailer of overpriced toys onto the back foot by releasing a free version of its music streaming service for a fraction of the price.

Apple's next iPhone will be thicker
Published in Mobiles
Tuesday, 23 June 2015 13:32

Apple's next iPhone will be thicker


Just like its users

Taiwan's top Apple analyst has released a prediction that the next iPhones will be thicker than the last—0.2 mm thicker.

Beats headphones' obscene margins
Published in News
Tuesday, 23 June 2015 11:38

Beats headphones' obscene margins


Apple overlords are amateurs

When Fruity Cargo Cult Apple bought Beats headphones it was not clear how much of a marriage in hell the arrangement was. While Apple was famous for its obscenely high profit margins it was a bunch of amateurs in comparison to Dr Dre.

Apple kills off the vintage iPad mini
Published in News
Monday, 22 June 2015 11:41

Apple kills off the vintage iPad mini


People didn't want it

Apple has made the admission that people don't want the "original" iPad mini and have killed it off.