Chinese mobile sales slump
Published in Mobiles
Tuesday, 22 August 2017 12:11

Chinese mobile sales slump


Looks like that market will not save anyone soon


Hopes that the Chinese mobile market might pick-up and save the cash cows of one-hit-wonders like Apple have been dashed by new figures from Digitimes Research.

Apple defends itself against claims that it is responsible for fanboy car crashes
Published in News


Fanboys claim Apple should have protected them

Apple fanboys have taken Jobs’ Mob to court for not doing enough to protect them while driving.

Hackers penetrate Apple's inner sanctum
Published in News
Friday, 18 August 2017 12:23

Hackers penetrate Apple's inner sanctum


Security coprocessor has been hacked


A hacker by name of "Xerub" has made a mockery of Apple’s Apple's Secure Enclave Processor (SEP) firmware.

Apple wants to buy entertainment content
Published in News
Thursday, 17 August 2017 12:12

Apple wants to buy entertainment content


Can’t make its own

The Fruity Tax-dodging cargo-cult Apple has shown up in Hollywood with its huge cheque book with the aim of buying some shows that people want to watch – rather than what brainwashed Apple execs want to watch.

Apple may get rid of fingerprint reader
Published in Mobiles
Thursday, 17 August 2017 06:00

Apple may get rid of fingerprint reader


Will rely instead on smug aura detectors

The fruity tax-dodging cargo cult Apple, in a desperate move to increase margins on its failing iPhone, has decided to abandon the expensive fingerprint reader.

Qualcomm details Apple modem issue
Published in News
Tuesday, 15 August 2017 11:33

Qualcomm details Apple modem issue


Tells the watchdog

Chipmaker Qualcomm showed further details about the impact of the fruity cargo-cult Apple refusing to pay up on its licences and its modem competition with Intel.

Google pays Apple billions to stay on iPhone
Published in Mobiles


That's a nice little search engine we would hate for it to be broken

Google is shelling out billions of dollars in protection to the fruity tax-dodging cult Apple so that it can stay the default search engine on iPhones and iPads.

Wall Street fumes at Foxconn
Published in News
Monday, 14 August 2017 11:55

Wall Street fumes at Foxconn


Expenses probably because of new iPhone costs 

The cocaine nose jobs of Wall Street are furious that Apple’s number one chum Foxconn fell short of its estimates by a huge 25 percent.

Apple cuddles up to Ireland in Euro tax case
Published in News


European Union action concentrates their minds

A report said that Apple and Ireland are cooperating in an attempt to avoid a huge tax bill imposed by the European Union last year.

Apple developers and chipmakers are revolting
Published in News


Standing against the Steve Jobs's design disaster 


Apple developers are revolting against the terrible design of Steve Jobs and Jony Ive’s “ufo” headquarters.