David versus Goliath

The Tame Apple Press is fuming that a start-up is daring to say that it invented something Apple put on its iWatch.

But it might work in 2024

Fruit and nutty cargo cult Apple’s attempts to turn it is iWatch into a medical device have hit a snag.

Tells the police he faked an attack

A bloke who thought it would be a wizard wheeze to pretend to be stabbed by a neo-Nazi has been grassed up by his iWatch.

 
Apple investigates the latest claim

The fruity cargo cult Apple is at the centre of another child-labour scandal – this time over its smartwatch.

Another daylight savings glitch

Comedy developers at Apple have cocked up the programming for summer time yet again, and this time it has resulted in the Apple Watch shutting down when you ask it about the weather.

Wants you to pay for it any way

Fruity Cargo Cult Apple has admitted that its new Apple 3 watch is borked but it is going to sell it to Apple fanboys at the end of the week anyway.

 
Dinosaurs yes, broke no

A new survey pours cold water on the myth that people use feature phones because they can't afford a smartphone.

Apple fails miserably, despite cuckoo press stories 

You might not be aware of it, because the Tame Apple Press is going on an offensive, but Apple is losing the wearable’s market to Fitbit.

Gear S3 Frontier and S3 Classic out next month

Samsung has announced that it will be releasing the Galaxy Gear S3 smartwatch next month.

Michael Gove was too insecure 

The UK government has banned Apple's iWatch from its government Cabinet meetings because they can be easily knocked over by the Russians.