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Apple needs iPhone to fall on its feet

by on04 December 2014

Lets see it dodge a hammer

Fruity cargo cult and purveyor of bendy toys to starlets with few clothes and loose passwords has decided that rather than making its products stronger, it is going to make sure that they fall to the ground in the right way.

A new patent application has revealed that they are working on a solution for those who drop their overpriced toys before they get the chance to go out-of-date or catch fire.

Apparently, Apple has been looking at how cats fall to the ground. After all moggies always fall on their feet and they seem to be able to fall from a great height without cracking. The only problem is that an iPhone does not have feet.

Instead, they think it would be better for the phone to fall flat on its back so that the shock is more evenly distributed. The idea is to harness a combination of gyroscopes, accelerometers and GPS to first detect when the phone is falling, then for these mechanisms to change its orientation. We would be interested to know how the phone can tell if it is in the air, or being waved excitedly in the face of a not Apple user.

Of course they are missing a trick here, the phone could work out it was falling and deploy an air bag which would have to be taken to Apple to be fixed for a fee.

If it does work, simply dropping the phone with the hope of destroying it will not work, and we will have to accidently hit it with a hammer when we see one.

 

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