Cue the jokes
The Tame Apple Press is full of stories claiming that Samsung’s battery factory in Northern China has just caught fire.
Smash iPhone in case of fire
A team of boffins from Stanford University have emerged from their smoke-filled labs with a lithium-ion battery which has its own built-in fire extinguisher.
5,100mAh battery and fast charging
The people at Lenovo have hit upon an interesting gimmick for their P2 phone – they are flogging it with a three-day battery life.
New upgrades make unaffected iPhone 6s sick
Apple seems to be serious in its cunning plan to get users to update to the iPhone 7, by issuing an update which was supposed to fix a problem with the iPhone 6s battery but actually spread the problem instead.
Have faith in our marketing claims
The fruity tax-dodging cargo cult Apple has a novel way of stopping its users from finding out the truth about its bogus marketing claims about battery life – it has stripped the iOS from any method of measuring it.
Putting 50 pounds of mud in a five-pound bag
It seems that the Galaxy Note caught fire because it had the same problem as Dolly Parton at an award’s ceremony. If you stick 50 pounds of mud in a five-pound bag you are going to get a flaming wardrobe malfunction.
It could be worse they could get four-hours
Apple’s managed to launch the new MacBook Pro with the Touch Bar with a lot of reasons not to buy it. Now it seems that it created a feature that few people would have expected – a three-hour battery life.
Fallout from the Note fiasco
Although widely scape-goated for the Galaxy Note 7 fiasco, Samsung’s battery division is quietly reassuring anxious clients which ironically include Apple that its batteries are safe.
Supercapacitor battery could be the next big thing
Boffins working at University of Central Florida have emerged from their over filled baths after creating a new process for creating a supercapacitor battery.