The laws made up by Aussie politicians decide reality
Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has said the laws of mathematics come second to the law of the land in a row over privacy and encryption.
Because it is such a cool, user-friendly company
Australia's consumer watchdog has carried out an investigation into the fruity, tax-dodging cult Apple and found that its staff lie to customers about their legal rights.
Fruity cargo cult revenged itself on DIY repairs
Fruity, Tax-Dodging cargo cult Apple has been charged with bricking the phones of users who dared to have their repairs done by those who did not wear blue shirts and had been blessed as Genii by the ghost of Steve Jobs.
"Intransigent, closed and controlling" and not fair dinkum
Three Australian banks have moaned to the country’s anti-trust watch dingo that the Apple Pay service is not fair dinkum.
Apple perverts use customers' snaps in sex game
Since part of the joy of owning an iPhone involves having to take it to an Apple store to be repaired, you will be relieved to know that Apple genii down under have been providing an extra special service to clients whose phone’s they repair.
Aparthied behind the Walled Garden
Fruity cargo cult Apple has decided to punish Australians for refusing to pay over the odds for its hardware and set up a sort of aparthied behind its walled garden for those who come from a land down under.
Chinese PR makes it look evil again
Huawei has done a great job of convincing many that it is the underdog in the great spying row with the US and that it is really not a secretive outfit which is secretly spying on Western powers.
Throw another dumb law on the barbie
Australia want to ban the teaching of encryption so that it can save the nation from all the spying that is going on.
Watch 'em wriggle
Australia is the first country to put Google, Apple and Microsoft's "completely legal" tax avoidance under the spotlight.
Why are you drongos overcharging?