Timm Cook will be hoping to replace that out of date tablet with an iPad
Published in News


Cook will have a hard sell

The leader of the world’s most successful religion with more than a billion fanatical followers is going to meet the Pope.

Apple jumps on VR bandwagon
Published in News


Will be late, but will still  claim to have invented it

With even Microsoft being active in the VR market, it seems that Apple thinks there might be mileage in the technology.

Japan Display to mass produce OLED panels
Published in Graphics


Japan Display is set to mass produce OLED panels –  but not until 2018

Japan Display already supplies smartphone screens to Apple, but faces stiff competition from South Korea's LG Display.  

Apple protects the dead
Published in News


Keep your wife out of your email while you enjoy the afterlife

Fruity cargo cult Apple is providing a new feature for dead fanboys – it is apparently locking loved ones out of your accounts without a court order.

Apple, Samsung and Sony in child-labour claim
Published in News


Seven year olds mining for Cobalt


Apple, Samsung and Sony have been named and shamed in an Amnesty International report for not doing enough to prevent child labour crimes in the production of products.

Donald Trump attacks Apple
Published in News


Build your gear in America dammit!

Comedy presidential option Donald Trump has angered the Tame Apple Press by daring to suggest that if he was elected Apple would be forced to make its products in the US.

Apple will not bring out new iWatch in March
Published in Wearables


Just a minor update 

Hopes that the fruity cargo cult Apple would save its moribund iWatch with a bold new wearable device, which did what everyone though the first one would do, are looking less likely.

iPhone 6S has a super cool lying battery feature
Published in Mobiles


Gives you the impression the battery life is longer

Apple has revealed that its iPhone 6s, which is remaining on the shelves because no one wants it, has a super cool feature which tells you your battery is fuller than it really is.

TSMC's 5nm plans revealed
Published in Processors


Two years after 7nm

Foundry TSMC claims it will be ready to roll out its 5nm process technology two years after the launch of its 7nm node..

Apple’s Gatekeeper patch does not work
Published in News


Patch was just a Placebo

The Tame Apple Press did its best to tell the world that the fruity cargo cult Apple had fixed the Gatekeeper bug in its iOS software, however it looks like it is still broken and the patch was a placebo.