Apple convicted of playing monopoly
Published in News


Still refuses to confess because it insists it is not evil.

Fruity cargo cult Apple has lost its appeal against conviction for conspiring with publishers to raise the price of e-books but is still refusing to admit it could have done anything wrong.

Foxconn "zookeeper" aims to be the world's biggest
Published in News


Wants to rival the Berlin Zoological Garden

Apple's favour supplier Foxconn (Hon Hai Precision Industry) chairman Terry Guo who once called his staff animals and himself as the Zookeeper, claims his company will be the largest OEM/ODM for handsets, tablets and desktops in 2015.

Apple designing another bendy phone
Published in Mobiles


This time on purpose

While Apple was rightly mocked for releasing a phone which could bend easier than a Romanian gymnast it seems that the Knight of the Rounded Rectangle Sir Johnny Ives thinks it was a pretty super cool idea.

Siri joins the 9/11 conspiracy
Published in News


Lizard on Board

Fruity cargo cult Apple is apparently part of the Lizard inspired illuminati cover-up of the 9/11 terrorist plot.

Google issues Apple streaming spoiler
Published in News


Launches its own music streaming service

The Search Engine Google has forced the fruity retailer of overpriced toys onto the back foot by releasing a free version of its music streaming service for a fraction of the price.

Apple's next iPhone will be thicker
Published in Mobiles


Just like its users

Taiwan's top Apple analyst has released a prediction that the next iPhones will be thicker than the last—0.2 mm thicker.

Beats headphones' obscene margins
Published in News


Apple overlords are amateurs

When Fruity Cargo Cult Apple bought Beats headphones it was not clear how much of a marriage in hell the arrangement was. While Apple was famous for its obscenely high profit margins it was a bunch of amateurs in comparison to Dr Dre.

Apple kills off the vintage iPad mini
Published in News


People didn't want it

Apple has made the admission that people don't want the "original" iPad mini and have killed it off.

Samsung appears to copy Apple's security ability
Published in News


Has a scary bug

More than 600 million Samsung phones may be vulnerable to attacks that allow hackers to surreptitiously monitor the camera and microphone, read incoming and outgoing text messages, and install malicious apps.

Apple pulls Monster's licence
Published in News


How dare you sue us!

Jobs' Mob has shown its petty side after it pulled the licence for Monster Cable to make expensive wires for its expensive toys.