Even stabbing the S8 will not cause it to explode
Published in Mobiles


Tame Apple Press jokes fail

The Tame Apple Press has been trying to spoil the release of Galaxy S8 with lots of gags about exploding batteries. The only problem is the S8 battery tech is surprisingly robust.

Apple gets self-driving car testing licence
Published in News


Don’t hold your breath


The Tame Apple Press was over the moon this morning after it was revealed that the fruity cargo cult has got a licence to test self-driving cars.

Apple might invest several billion in Toshiba
Published in News


iPad maker might go for another pile old Tosh


The fruity cargo cult Apple is thinking of dropping a billion or two for the troubled Toshiba semiconductor unit.

Toshiba recovers from losses after Apple's investment offer
Published in News


But still faces a stock exchange delisting risk


Toshiba Corp’s shares finally recovered this week after Japanese broadcaster NHK reported that Apple is considering a multi-billion-dollar investment into the company’s semiconductor chip business.

Apple faces problems with iPhone 8 edge-to-edge display
Published in News


Can’t get it to go

The fruity tax-dodging cargo cult Apple is set to dump one of the few things that were moderately interesting in the coming iPhone 8.

Blackberry wins arbitration case against Qualcomm
Published in Mobiles


Claims it was overcharged.

BlackBerry shares surged 18 per cent after the troubled phone maker won a $815 million award from Qualcomm.

Apple turns to medicine
Published in News


What could possibly go wrong?

Now that Apple’s iPhone cash cow is looking decidedly unwell, it appears that the Fruity Cargo Cult thinks that it can reinvent itself as a medical instrument maker.

Apple likely to shaft Dialog Semiconductor
Published in Processors

Partner purge to keep ageing cash cow on life support

Fruity cargo-cult Apple is preparing to shaft yet another of its partners in a desperate deal to keep its iPhone cash-cow mooing.

Qualcomm files counterclaims to Apple lawsuit
Published in Mobiles


Fight fire with fire   

Qualcomm’s executives were untraditionally vocal after the Apple lawsuit. Now they've came up with counterclaims and answers to back up their case against Apple. 

World famous photographer abandons his Macs
Published in Notebooks


Apple is dead to me


World-famous photographer, artist, writer and adventurer Trey Ratcliff has shocked the Tame Apple Press by saying the fruity-cargo cult was “dead to him” after treating its creative customers so badly.