It is fake news; they are perfect and if they look like they are bending they are not really

Fruity cargo cult Apple has retracted its confession that the iPad Pro bends it like Beckham.

Rumours of less

The dark satanic rumour mill says Apple's upcoming iPad Pro models will feature slightly smaller bodies, a relocated Smart Connector, and no headphone jack.

Anger on the web

Apple's advert for the multi-tasking capability of the iPad Pro and iOS 11 is managing to get people really cross.

Wants to hold on to market share

A report said that Apple will introduce a 9.7-inch iPad next year, with a comparatively low price tag.

The game changer which disappeared from human records

A game changing Ancient Babylonian tablet runs an advanced form of trigonometry which is more accurate than the system used today – it also does not require a battery.

That's a nice little search engine we would hate for it to be broken

Google is shelling out billions of dollars in protection to the fruity tax-dodging cult Apple so that it can stay the default search engine on iPhones and iPads.

Ipad and iPhone might have crashed a plane

Fruity cargo-cult Apple has agreed to help a French inquiry into a plane crash.

Wrong sort of religious hatred 

It turns out that it was not Donald (Prince of Orange’s) hatred of all things Muslim that led to US and UK bans on laptops in aircraft last week – but an Apple iPad.

Starts at $329 and is heavier and thicker

Apple has quietly announced the successor to the iPad Air 2 and simply calls it the iPad. It comes with a new A9 SoC and will be up for sale from March 24 and redefines its meaning of the word cheap. 

Announcement comes in April alongside Apple's spaceship campus HQ

Apple is expected to move ahead with production on its mid-size, 10.5-inch iPad model later this month, rather than a previously expected timeframe of May to June, according to the latest reports from the Taiwan-based supply chain.