Apple sucks up to gold iwatch buyers
Published in Wearables


Always believe in your soul, you've got the power to know, you're indestructable

Fruity cargo cult Apple is apparently planning to butter up those people who are so stupidly rich they think that a £13,500 gold iWatch is a good idea.

Pebble rocks kickstarter again
Published in Wearables


Most successful project ever

Maker of a smartwatch Pebble's latest Kickstarter project  has done extremely well and raised a total of $20,338,986 from 78,471 backers.

Apple buys and closes open source Database outfit
Published in News


A clash of two religions

Apple has shut down an open-source database outfit called FoundationDB after quietly buying up the outfit and not mentioning it.

How Apple created a climate of fear among developers
Published in News


Retraction always follows criticism

A top development blog has revealed that there is a climate of fear among the developer community about criticising the fruity cargo cult Apple's slumping software standards.

Apple staff to offer fashion advice
Published in Wearables


Because they are so damn hip

The fruity cargo cult Apple has decide that the world needs fashion advice from the spotty, tee-shirt wearing "genii" who populate its modern cathedrals to consumer shallowness.

Apple faces Italian tax evasion charges
Published in News


Pasta La Vista baby

Italian coppers have enough evidence to charge the fruity cargo cult Apple with tax evasion.

Rumour: Apple Watch manufacturing halved
Published in Wearables


Technical issues or soft demand?

A nasty rumour about the Apple Watch simply refuses to die, and now there’s a bit more info on Apple’s smartwatch blues. 

Apple expels Windows 7 from garden of earthy delights
Published in News


Lost the business case 

Fruity cargo cult Apple has decided that Microsoft's venerable Windows 7 needs to be expelled from its walled garden of earthly delights.

Intel could be the Lazerus of the Mobile market
Published in Mobiles


It might be back from the dead this time

Chipzilla has launched its latest campaign to get back into the mobile market, and this time it might just get away with it.

Apple to build reality distortion field
Published in Wearables


Now you can see into its world

Fruity cargo cult Apple's grip on reality has always been somewhat tentative, but now its genii are apparently working out a way of copying Google, Microsoft and VR by creating artificial reality specs.