How the Tame Apple press lies
Published in News


Knifing Xiaomi

Earlier this week we ran a story which said that Xiaomi was doing rather well and was on target to hit its 80 million phone sales this year. 

Analysts trim iWatch expectations
Published in Wearables


What were we thinking?

Wall Street Analysts are suddenly waking up to the fact that they made some career killing predictions over Apple's iWatch.

Hollywood tells truth about Steve Jobs
Published in News


Apparently has been reading Fudzilla

Hollywood has dared to make a film which tells the truth about the fruity cargo Apple's profit Steve Jobs.

World's leading operating system is Windows 7
Published in News


Looks like that tablet idea was really daft

The world's most popular operating system is still Windows 7, as Microsoft really regrets wasting its time with a tablet interface in Windows 8.

Tim Cook is better than Steve Jobs
Published in News


Wall Street speaks heresy

A top Wall Street money man Julian Robertson has committed religious heresy against the Apple Cult by claiming that its latest CEO Tim Cook was actually better than its mystical fruity founder Steve Jobs.

Apple convicted of playing monopoly
Published in News


Still refuses to confess because it insists it is not evil.

Fruity cargo cult Apple has lost its appeal against conviction for conspiring with publishers to raise the price of e-books but is still refusing to admit it could have done anything wrong.

Foxconn "zookeeper" aims to be the world's biggest
Published in News


Wants to rival the Berlin Zoological Garden

Apple's favour supplier Foxconn (Hon Hai Precision Industry) chairman Terry Guo who once called his staff animals and himself as the Zookeeper, claims his company will be the largest OEM/ODM for handsets, tablets and desktops in 2015.

Apple designing another bendy phone
Published in Mobiles


This time on purpose

While Apple was rightly mocked for releasing a phone which could bend easier than a Romanian gymnast it seems that the Knight of the Rounded Rectangle Sir Johnny Ives thinks it was a pretty super cool idea.

Siri joins the 9/11 conspiracy
Published in News


Lizard on Board

Fruity cargo cult Apple is apparently part of the Lizard inspired illuminati cover-up of the 9/11 terrorist plot.

Google issues Apple streaming spoiler
Published in News


Launches its own music streaming service

The Search Engine Google has forced the fruity retailer of overpriced toys onto the back foot by releasing a free version of its music streaming service for a fraction of the price.