Cutting edge? Not likely
Fruity cargo cult Apple has decided that there is no point being cutting edge and expensive when you can peddle old technology and still charge an arm and a leg.
The Tame Apple Press desperate to prove that the technologically superior Galaxy S6 had the same bending problem as Apple's iPhone 6 might have bitten off more than it could chew.
Time to face the music
EU regulators think it is time that Apple faced the music over the way it has handled its streaming service in the old country.
You get what you pay for
When the new MacBook came out the Tame Apple press launched a ton of free PR for their favourite company praising how much it looked like Apple's Air.
Always believe in your soul, you've got the power to know, you're indestructable
Fruity cargo cult Apple is apparently planning to butter up those people who are so stupidly rich they think that a £13,500 gold iWatch is a good idea.
Most successful project ever
Maker of a smartwatch Pebble's latest Kickstarter project has done extremely well and raised a total of $20,338,986 from 78,471 backers.
A clash of two religions
Apple has shut down an open-source database outfit called FoundationDB after quietly buying up the outfit and not mentioning it.
Retraction always follows criticism
A top development blog has revealed that there is a climate of fear among the developer community about criticising the fruity cargo cult Apple's slumping software standards.
Because they are so damn hip
The fruity cargo cult Apple has decide that the world needs fashion advice from the spotty, tee-shirt wearing "genii" who populate its modern cathedrals to consumer shallowness.