Apple tells users to "hit the road jack"
Published in Mobiles
Wednesday, 23 September 2015 10:39

Apple tells users to "hit the road jack"


Change the port,  force upgrade,  profit

Fruity Cargo cult Apple is hatching out a new cunning plan to make piles of dosh by forcing its soon to be shrinking user base to buy new headphones.

Apple press blames Chinese for its security mess
Published in News
Wednesday, 23 September 2015 09:36

Apple press blames Chinese for its security mess


It is not our fault

The Tame Apple Press after playing down the security mess which was the mass infection of the Apple Store, is now claiming it was not Jobs' Mob's fault.

Acer expects 80 per cent growth in two-in-one shipments
Published in Notebooks


Microsoft and Apple kick-starting the market

Acer expects the release of two versions of the Surface Tablet, one from Microsoft and the other from Apple, will kick-start the two-in-one market .

Apple hopes car will replace gadgets
Published in News
Tuesday, 22 September 2015 10:11

Apple hopes car will replace gadgets


Car on agenda as iPhone dies

It is starting to look like the fruity cargo cult Apple is banking on the car industry to be the next big thing after the world loses interest in iphones and ipads.

ARM under pressure after customers merge
Published in Processors
Monday, 21 September 2015 15:48

ARM under pressure after customers merge


Atmel and Dialog could be bad news


Chip designer Arm is under pressure after two of its customers decided to combine their businesses. Anglo-German Dialog Semiconductor wrote a cheque to buy US rival Atmel for $4.6bn.

Pope saves NY from iPhone cult
Published in Mobiles
Monday, 21 September 2015 12:54

Pope saves NY from iPhone cult


Papal intervention slows deliveries

Pope Francis has temporarily managed to save New York from the clutches of the iPhone Cult which is a dangerous American religion which encourages people to lower the standards of the world by surrendering to a "reality distortion field" which requires you to buy expensive phones.

Telcos sell Apple watch on Friday
Published in Mobiles
Monday, 21 September 2015 16:10

Telcos sell Apple watch on Friday


In Europe and in US

T-mobile in the US has announced that the company will start selling the Apple watch on Friday but it turns out that a few European Telecoms will start get it too. . 

Jim Keller, lead CPU architect, leaves AMD
Published in Processors
Friday, 18 September 2015 19:45

Jim Keller, lead CPU architect, leaves AMD


Zen still sampling in 2016

AMD has not been doing that great and there are still a lot of changes happening to the company. 

Apple stuffs up iOS update
Published in Mobiles
Friday, 18 September 2015 12:09

Apple stuffs up iOS update


New "crashes" function

Apple customers are daring to complain after the new iOS 9 operating system which they got for free shipped with a super cool, game changing, crash your iPhone feature.

Outcry as Navy orders Apple fanboys to smash their phones
Published in Mobiles


Security threat

The Tame Apple Press is furious after Royal Thai Navy ordered a bunch of useless seamen to smash their iPhones and then videoed the whole thing as a warning to others.